Caribou Coffee, how I love thee. You are more expensive than Starbucks, but the cute little moose on your coffee sleeves makes me smile. So does your free wireless. The moose droppings that you place so lovingly on the lid of my mocha latte are delicious as well. Little chocolate-covered pieces of crack.
As I sit here, freezing my ass off with your high-blasted air conditioning, I enjoy the serene melodies that drift ever so slowly out of overhead speakers. I almost want to fall asleep but, alas, there is work to do.
I love your moose droppings. Please send more. Thank you.
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